cleaning up my journal.

deleting old entries

reposting old art.

oganising, and getting fit.

new mac in a couple of days.

life will get good.

Recently an article was published in EYELINE magazine for an exhibition I was in. Here is a copy of the article. (I be Jose.V btw)

DEAR
Diary.

So, I haven't, and don't really ever post much about myself or my life here. I'm currently living in Berlin again, I am here for two months having left recently (everything went majorly pear fucking shaped). I was in the UK for a while staying with my uncle in Cambridge, just letting myself recover from the mess Berlin round one turned out to be.

I am staying with the lovely vee but hate not having my own space and am constantly feeling like a burden. Another contributer to this is not having my own laptop anymore and having to ask all the time whenever I want to check messages/do anything on the internet. My old mac was stolen last time I was here and since its been gone its felt like a phantom limb.

I have gone through two and a half men since being here and have yet to find true love.

One has broken my heart and set me up for future failure.

I miss Australia even though I hated it when I was there. When I was in Cambridge all I could think about was coming back here, and now I am here I want to go back. I wish I could have the best of both worlds.

I want to grow up and become a house husband making art in my home. My home will be in a clearing in the forests around Berlin. I will have three adopted children. The oldest will be names Agatha, she will have platinum blonde hair. The middle child will be an Asian girl and I will call her Sadie. Finally, our youngest child will be a coppery red head boy with ringlets, his name is Felix. I will never let my children play in direct sunlight so as not to tarnish and burn their beautiful young skin. They will be brought up agnostic, bilingual and each learning an instrument. My husband will love me and protect me, we will never fight and I will give him everything he gives me, which will be everything I want.

Good bye, Keep my SECRETS safe.

Jose.

soundtrack to the movie of my life

my movie soundtrack

Opening Credits:
aqueduct - hardcore days and softcore nights

Waking Up:
beck - chemtrails

School:
the smashing pumpkins - rhinocerous

Falling In Love:
fiona apple - o'sailor (album version)

Getting Laid:
cat power - breathless

Fight Song:
marilyn manson - i put a spell on you

Breaking Up:
PJ Harvey - to bring you my love

Mental Breakdown:
portishead - silence

Driving:
the presets - black background

Party:
peaches - felix partz (remake)

Taking Drugs:
comfy in nautica - panda bear

Getting Fucked Up:
the great below - nin

Aftermath:
fascination street - the cure

Morning After:
kate bush - aerial

Flashback:
kylie minogue - better the devil you know

Having a Child:
mika - relax (take it easy)

Having an Abortion:
ten in the swear jar (xiu xiu) - famine

Death Scene:
Eternal Wind - Square Enix Final Fantasy Remix

Funeral Song:
space lion - yokko kanno

End Credits:
gang gang dance - gods money V

Staring Vincent Gallo and Christina Ricci. Directed by Vincent Gallo.



( Read more... )

I was in an exhibition recently called renovare
My work was a collection of flowers I have found discarded in cemeteries throughout the city I live in.
Along with my work there was a window projection by Cait Foran, a halway calico cavity by Courtney Coombs, and a LOVE sign on the roof by one of the curators, Stephen.





( Read more )

woo
scanner is broke so no new scans of images to show

HOWever, i have oldish photos of my studio and my cat when she was a kitten to show:



im in the back ground of most of these, see those sexy legs.

sometimes i masturbate when im not horny, just so i wont have to worry about it later.

I got a kitten for christmas. Thankyou Jesus.

I think about where i live; the paint chipped walls, the stained carpets, the thrift shop furniture, the forever dirty bathroom and i cant help but feel sad. This house means so much to me. Not that I am particularily attatched to the house but what it means to me. and im going to have to say good bye to it soon, its a terrible house to live in. theres just so much thats happened in it that i will never be able to get back, stuff that means alot to me. stuff that im afraid ill forget.

I think of; late night dancing and knocking from neighbors to turn down the music on weeknights.

of many friends new, and old.

of drugs.

of feeling so sick i cant move.

of crying.

of blood on carpet, pools of blood in paper envelopes, blood in sinks and blood on sheets.

of razor blades in bath tubs and the people who left them there.

of bad art, and good art and art thats in between.

of skipping university to stay home all day, eating junk food, and watching dvds with tara.

of my first night here.

of string mazes on the roof.

of fans that speak from the devils lips to your ears.

of incense, candles, low lights and loud music.

of parties that didnt happen.

and parties that happened.

of alcohol, and vomiting, and of people sleeping on couches.

of smelly goths, and roomates who work at strip clubs.

of sweaty rushed sex, of quiet hushed sex.

of paper thin walls.

of music in the morning.

of long rooms, and the mess i left my life in.

of breaking into pieces, and not getting them all back together.

of just the two of us.

of just the three of us.

of myself.

of mistakes and arguments.

i remember desert mouth, and the munchies, and eating too much, and giggling, and feeling like i couldnt go any higher, and talking about nothing, and about not remembering alot of it.